We are not machines.

We are not machines. Cogs. Production units. FTEs.

We are not brands. Channels. Entertainers. Memes. We are not what we see on TV.

We are not consumers. Buyers. Shoppers. We are not a marketing demographic. We’re not followers.

We are people. Beautifully individual, hopelessly small. We are complicated. Messy. Wrought. Nuanced with joy.  Impermanent and important.

Invisible

Today I am going to lay out in the sun
On my front lawn
– Naked as the day I was born-
Warming myself like a cat
And watching the neighbors pass by

I am going to wander around restaurants and park benches
And sit down with all the messy permutations of coupling there
Taking pictures and stealing dialogue
Immersing myself in others’ human condition
And turning honesty into art

I am going to take my lunch at the museum
On the floor,
at the foot of my favorite paintings
Slowly licking the last morsels from my fingers
And slipping into long conversation with
the artists’ best intentions

Why continue to waste such an exquisite opportunity
to be invisible
Still asking my children over and over to
Finish their homework
Brush their teeth
Or pick up their things?

Two Spaces

When I touch myself
the world shrinks
to a
warm
intense
tight
cocoon
a safe place of swift relief but
suffocating

When I touch another-
when I am touched by another-
my world instead widens
to wrap itself and me around the cosmos

and I float

unraveled and cool and quiet
in the infinite space made visible.

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Writer’s Contract

The rules of writing are not handcuffs for the writer
Nor a gavel for the reader

Instead a contract between them,
ensuring, respectfully,
as much as is possible, that
Two people, miles, years, and lives apart
Might sit down to tea
And share one’s ideas

Without the other
taking things the wrong way
so easily

Life Hack

Everything I read
the 8 steps to anything
– better hair, enlightenment, true love, my dream job, clean bowels –

lord, I am tired of bulleted lists to hack my life

I want the messy roar of a chainsaw
the wild whack of an axe at the base
the possibility found in the curious unknown

Screw the bullets;
give me a torch and let me blow my own mind wide open

 

Thread Bare

If I would shave the loveliest pieces of me
into tiny glitter
that you could spread about you absently as
you moved about your day-

If I would roll myself out to be
As thin and malleable as a slip of paper
you could tuck into your calendar-

If I would shed my feelings and needs
until I was as light and unobtrusive as a winter sunbeam
you could bask in without discomfort-

If I would wash out my expectations, my pointed questions, like starch,
until I was as soft and accommodating as
your favorite old shirt-

maybe then
you would be willing to make enough room in your world
for me

And I would be too thread bare to notice

it’s not a place I wish to be

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Polyamory

I have been dating myself for a while now and I have to say, I think it’s going well. I really love when I bring myself flowers for no reason at all, and when I take myself out to a nice dinner and we talk art and poetry and beauty all evening. I love the sweet nothings I whisper to myself, especially when I am scared or feeling inadequate- man, I have never felt more loved and supported. I can take on the world with me by my side.

Sometimes we’ll spend all weekend together, just the two of us, exploring new places, people, or experiences- we’ve found so many new ways to wrap each other in love. And man- she is BEAUTIFUL. Gets more so everyday. I love the way she sings and dances through the house when she is happy and doesn’t know I am here. Such a goof, that silly girl. But her eyes twinkle so much these days, it’s hard to remember them any other way. She just glows with love, and is delightfully quick to smile and laugh- I had no idea my love for her could lift her up like that.

We still disagree sometimes- but we do it so respectfully that’s it’s hard to consider it fighting anymore- couldn’t say that in the beginning, haha, but now- we take care of each other with far more loving kindness. We just want what’s best for US, and that makes it far easier to come to an agreement. And protect our ecosystem.

There is still a lot to be said for taking another lover, and we talk about it often- usually when we make love. But really, I’ve been monogamous with others before, without me, and it’s nothing like what I have now. I think there IS a great opportunity for something polyamorous, though- maybe a pair like us, to round out this fantastic life experience. But only if it doesn’t mean I have to stop loving me. 😉

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